Rarely do I talk about my daughter. She's only 3 and a half years old, not yet as articulate as an older child. Her speech is still not very fluent. She has a rather "free-spirited" personality, a bit bossy. All the men in the family dote on her; my father and her father are both captivated by her, especially her older brother, who adores her immensely. If there are three shrimp cakes, he only takes one, leaving two for her. Yet, she would cry out, "Brother ate them all! Wah~" Isn't that excessive? I can't bear it sometimes. Fortunately, her bossiness is mostly confined to the family; she behaves reasonably well and normally when playing with classmates outside.
When my father returned from a business trip to Japan to Hong Kong, the first thing he did was to pick up my daughter and say, "Darling~ I missed you! Kisses!" I couldn't bear to watch; it's like they're lovers, not from a past life, but this one. Then he would sniff her hair behind her ear and say with a laugh, "くさいくさい〜(Stinky stinky~)" My daughter is basically a carbon copy of her father, with her thick Ryukyuan heritage evident in her deep hair color and thick hair. Plus, with Hong Kong's humid weather, she sweats more, and her hair quickly gets damp and acquires a slight odor, which is quite normal. (What I mean is, fathers can easily smell bad too.)
So, these past few days, whenever my father picked her up and teased her by saying, "くさいくさい〜", my daughter would laugh along. Until the other night, when my daughter, after being sniffed by her father and then put down, didn't speak but instead took my hand and led me to the bedroom. She seemed a bit upset as she quietly said, "Mommy, should I take another bath? Because I smell stinky..." Oh dear, now I knew my father's joke had gone too far. I stroked her mushroom-like head and said, "Darling~ you've already bathed. Actually, you're a fragrant princess, Daddy was just joking." Then I mimicked her father by sniffing her and saying, "Not at all stinky! Very fragrant~" She looked puzzled, so I sniffed her again and said, "Really! Really fragrant!" And then she smiled.
I felt a bit guilty myself; sometimes when she comes home from school with a bit of a sweaty smell, I would also say, "Darling~ you're stinky!" before giving her a quick shower to freshen up before dinner and nap time. Adults often underestimate the impact of these teasing remarks, thinking they're just playful banter, but they leave a mark on a child's heart.
After my daughter fell asleep, I talked to my father and said, "Please don't say 'Darling stinky stinky' anymore; she actually minds it. She has her dignity too." After knowing this, my father apologized, "I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Since then, my father has stopped calling her smelly, which is also a reminder to me: children have dignity too, and we mustn't casually hurt it.
